Everybody Wants to Rule The World, For My Girls

Also, OkCupid's social media is a sin

Who let Tears for Fears cover Animal Collective’s My Girls? Why would they do this? What was the conversation like in which they decided to do this? “Ah yeah let’s do My Girls, but make it sound like the last, sad dispatch from Wall-e before he is moved to disconnect himself from the server.” That’s what I imagine. Despite how much I hate this cover, I simply can’t stop thinking about it. All I want is four walls and adobe slats, for my girls. Thank you Tears for Fears.

Another thing I can’t stop thinking about that doesn’t really matter but I still really hate: OkCupid’s social media presence. Two specific tweets as of late, promoted into my feed, have made my skin crawl.

Why do I hate these tweets so much, you may ask? Well well. For one, it’s dripping in the sort of sloppy internetism that people applaud (like, retweet) simply because it’s cloaked in the language of whatever is going on at the moment. We recognize humor in it even when it isn’t funny, because it uses the right mixture of topical shit. Sentient hive mind tweets, machine learned from stewing in the internet’s vat for long enough. I get it, I am that, we are all that, but. Ugh.

Then there’s the obvious premise, for me, that they create a clappable moment out of something that should be…not celebrated. It’s not a stretch that the voice-y social media of a matchmaking service would find topical events like the election and spin it into dating content—that is literally someone’s job and I can imagine how hard that job is. 

But the reality laid bare here is: a date is heroic for not being a misogynist. Plus, it does so using the same bad-faith argument leveled at Bernie. I.e. saying “not sure a woman could be president right now” and providing context as to why is very different than “women are incompetent and could never be president.” Conflating the two is embarrassing for everyone. Ok. Great.

The other tweet I hate because it’s again a conglomerate of internet things, but this time shows a seedier underbelly. “Normalizing” has become something of a joke, given that it got overused into oblivion, and then deliberately misused into further nothingness. So here, let’s make it normal and fun to like someone because of their stance around a single issue. What? It’s goodboyian in that very way, I suppose: it leans on something that Seems Right, i.e. liking the right things, in this instance not wanting people to die, that is then reshared and beloved because of its proximity to the right thing, but there isn’t really anything there. It’s hollow. What did I expect? Unclear. But every time I see the promoted ads in my feed I am reminded of what corporate dating is like, what mainstream dating is like, and I remember that despite finding what I say extremely obvious, it’s not for everyone. Continuing to frame the baseline as something to celebrate, especially for further reward this in a digital space, feels like feigned ignorance. Willful naiveté. Not a fan.

(I have been on two OkCupid dates, for the record. One was 99.9% to meet this man’s dachshund, which I made him bring to the date. I spent the whole time with the dog under my shirt. We never spoke again, but it was pleasant. The second date was with an improv man who was *on* the entire time. It was exhausting and he wasn’t as funny as he thought he was, which was also exhausting. I specifically—not him, just me—got asked for drugs during the date by a stranger. When we left the bar he made sure I saw him give money to an unhoused person while mentioning “he did this all the time.” I gave him a pity kiss before never speaking to him again and I’m not proud, nor do I have regrets. It just is.)

Current mood: Mouse Scream

ID: a still image of a mouse with its mouse very wide open. He is screaming.

Photo of my dog:

ID: Clementine in a sweater, on her back, in the dog park. Her legs are straight, stiff in front of her for some reason and she looks a bit worried.

Things to read, watch and share:

  • Reading Colonialism in "Parasite" by Ju-Hyun Park

    “As Korea’s present colonizer, the United States is implicated throughout Parasite. No single character exemplifies Americanness definitively. Rather, Americanness is an aspirational status. The United States’ presence is thereby marked by its absence, which paradoxically illustrates the totalizing nature of its hegemony. This is most immediately established through the use of English.”

  • The Intimate Act of Performing Pain by Caroline Reilly

    “There’s an acute and near-indescribable vulnerability that comes with admitting to being in pain in real time. I know this conundrum intimately, and with the exception of a handful of occasions—when I’ve been in pain while at school, at work, or out with friends—nobody knows; the mere thought of someone seeing me scared and in need of help elicits a debilitating fear.”

  • Good tweet + related article.

  • Oberlin Alumni Say No To Union Busting

    As Oberlin alumni we are outraged at the College’s plan to outsource its custodial and dining services to outside contractors. As a result of this decision, 108 UAW Local 2192 union workers--members of the Oberlin community--stand to lose their jobs. Those who do find jobs with outside contractors will face pay cuts, benefits losses, and degraded working conditions. Unions are critical to upholding living wage jobs and securing rights in the workplace. Replacing union workers with outside contractors in order to cut costs is union busting, plain and simple.

    The College has said that these moves are “difficult choices to ensure the long-term health of the institution.” The College must not make "difficult choices" on the backs of some of Oberlin's most vulnerable workers and their families. This is a gross irony in a county in which only 24% of residents over the age of 25 have a bachelor's degree and the income per capita is almost half of the annual tuition at Oberlin College. By devaluing the labor of our dining and custodial staff and undercutting their bargaining power, any statements Oberlin College could make about our legacy of social justice are hypocritical. Oberlin College must maintain its commitment to the Oberlin community and to those community members who provide vital services that support student learning and the College’s mission.

    We stand with UAW Local 2192 and will withhold our financial support from the College until this decision is reconsidered.

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