My Dog Fell Into A Bog

A visual journey

Hello dear readers,

An important update from me: my dog fell into a bog.

It began with a normal walk. She crunched happily through leaves and was surprisingly surefooted on slippery moss. Like an agile potato, roasting in the sun, soft, ready for butter. But then. Then she simply plopped off the trail and into a bog. My dog. In the bog. To make matters worse, or better for her, I’ve never seen her happier. Trying to get her out was futile. I called her name and this seemed to signal “honey you’re home,” for all she did was bury deeper, creating a Clem-shaped pit in the bottom of the muck.

Perhaps you are already familiar with how much my dog loves a hole. A hole filled with mud—this is bliss. So while I can’t say I was surprised, I did feel betrayed. I give her a loose rein and this is how she treats me, heading face first into a thick and extremely smelly puddle of mud. Our hero. Here’s a video (made Clem a TikTok for this purpose only) if you want the whole thing, below is a play-by-play.

Here she is lying facedown like a compact potato, looking at the tree with all her limbs submerged under her. Around her is lush green foliage but no—in the mud she goes.

Calling her name resulted in this expression, wherein she looked back and grinned like The Joker. Note how the other dogs watched and judged.

The twisting of the knife came when she plopped her entire face deep into the mud and hid behind some moss, as if we wouldn't be able to see her impromptu spa day.

When she realized she had won this round, she closed her eyes and slept.

stay tuned for more updates on this developing story.

Here’s a classic cartoon or two:

ID: a smiling good boy face with bright red mouth says “i’m sad that I made you sad so make me feel less sad about making you sad.”

ID: a title at the top says “ye olde text me back.” below a cartoon face with curly hair says “the squire has yet to return with word from my young love barthomelew, I am extremely distraught.”

ID: text reads “she’s not like other girls!” at the top. Below is a smiling sack of goo. Underneath reads “she has no bones / please notice.”

With love,
Shelby and Bog Dog

(shelby and the bog bitch? clem and the bog bitches. clem and the mud pits. The Hole ft. clem)